“Last time he went on a plane, his whole life changed, and last time he left siblings they never came back.”

– Amberleigh Farrell (Jayco’s Mom)

Each child that is welcomed to For His Children has a unique story of loss. Adoption is a beautiful thing, but at the same time we remember it comes because of tragic loss for a child – separation from their biological family.

In early 2018, two young boys were being cared for at For His Children. Jayco was five years old, and Julio was three. Thanks to your support, they were loved and cared for by the tías (caregivers) at FHC for many years. Though not biological siblings, the boys shared many memories together and a brotherhood was formed.

In March 2018, Julio was welcomed into his forever family through adoption and moved to Florida. It would be two more years before Jayco and his younger brother, Jair, would join their forever family through adoption and move to Utah.

Through God’s sovereign plan and perfect timing, their mothers had become friends on Instagram and shared a passion for keeping the boys’ friendship alive. Last month, Jayco and Julio were reunited for the first time and spent a long weekend in Florida connecting and creating new memories together. 

Alyson Hughes (Julio’s mom) and Amberleigh Farrell (Jayco’s mom) recently shared about the importance of this reunion for the boys and how it is helping them to heal and thrive.

How did your families connect?

Alyson: “Amberleigh and I connected through Instagram. We both followed FHC. I had just returned to the US after completing an Ecuadorian adoption of our son that had lived at FHC for 3 years. The Farrell's had not yet received their referral and were waiting to see the child(ren) they would be able to adopt. 

We chatted about the ins and outs of paperwork, preparing to travel, and the highs and lows of the adoption process…and prayed together trusting God with all the details. I will NEVER forget when she received their referral/assignment and we found out the boys were from FHC…and I knew the boys!! We were so overjoyed that there was now the possibility of keeping them connected in the years to come. I told her how smart Jayco was, what an amazing boy he was, and dreamed of the day we could get the boys together!! “

Amberleigh: “Our first conversation was during the time when we were adopting but we had not yet been matched or assigned to Jayco and Jair. Alyson prayed for us and just always provided so much positivity and hope during the long wait. She always reminded me that God had a plan and waiting on Him was worth it. Her friendship became invaluable to me, because no one else in my everyday life had been through an Ecuadorian adoption.”

What was your goal in bringing the boys together for the weekend?

Alyson: “From the moment we learned the Farrell's sons were from FHC we knew we'd do all we could to keep them connected through the years. Our goal for getting them together was to start what will hopefully be a long-standing friendship and "brotherhood".

We know there will be things that we cannot possibly relate to as the boys get older and it is important to us that the boys have a friend that "gets it". We hoped it would be special. We also (honestly) worried it may trigger some sadness or big feelings but felt it was an important first step.” 

Amberleigh: “Honestly, my initial goal was just to kind of make it happen quickly, before more time passed and that memory of each other would fade. But as we started making the plans, I realized that this would be really good for all of us.

Jayco was apprehensive about flying, he was nervous about leaving his other siblings, and just overall needed some time to connect with mom without the other kids. This trip gave Jayco and me a positive reason to go through all of that together. We got to go to Florida and his siblings told him how lucky he was, he got to go see his friend and play for a few days. And he got mom all to himself.  

Last time he went on a plane, his whole life changed, and last time he left siblings they never came back. So for him understanding that our family is forever was so so good. 

Also, in preparing for the trip Jayco and I had a few conversations about Julio and FHC. We talked about how friends like Julito are extra special because they “get you” on a deep level. They look like you, they talk like you, they remember the tias like you. Jayco and I talked about how having a friend like that to walk through life with is amazing. And then when they saw each other – I knew it was all of those things!!!”

How was the weekend and what did you do?

Alyson: “This weekend and reunion was beyond what I could have imagined!! It is hard to describe. Amberleigh and I kept saying it seemed to fill a deep need. 

I can only speak for Julio when I say I feel like something clicked when he was with Jayco. He felt seen. Julio seemed to be so full of joy, so at peace, and wouldn't let Jayco out of his sight.

The Farrells flew in from Utah and we stayed on the beach at Pensacola for 3 nights and then they stayed at our home in Pensacola for one night before flying home. We played in the pool, made slime, ran on the beach, played games, stayed up too late…and just had a blast together!! It seemed like we had known each other forever. And we did NOT want them to leave.”

Amberleigh: “Alyson covered this. But they hosted us at the beach and her home! Drove us around, packed the pool & beach toys! It was wonderful!”

Did you see benefits from Jayco and Julio reuniting?

Alyson: “Absolutely. They seemed to immediately recognize one another. Again, this is so hard to explain but it was a heart connection. These boys needed no introductions...it all clicked. I kept saying "all is right in the world" and truly that is how it felt. 

It felt like we were both seen. I felt like Amberleigh understood what it is like to be an adoptive mama and Julio was with someone who knew what it was like to be him.

Julio was thrilled every single moment of the weekend; it was so fun to watch!! And when Jayco left Julio was very sad...until Jayco sent him a Marco Polo and we assured him they'd be able to be friends forever. 

Now we reminisce about the memories we made and talk about seeing them again.” 

 Amberleigh: “So many!!! Alyson and I talked so much over those few days about how they played together. How they seemed so comfortable together. It was like 4 days of play therapy. Being “seen” by a friend who gets you allows you to just be yourself. I’ve seen Jayco meet and interact with lots of kids, cousins, neighbor kids, classmates but this was different. Jayco seemed calm, and more open to talk about all things.

We had a few light conversations about FHC and meeting for the first time, and Jayco said to all of us, “I was scared when I met my mom the first time.” That statement would have never happened at home. Being with Alyson and Julio created space to talk about it. HUGE for Jayco to express emotions and talk about that time. I think I told him, “I was scared too buddy!” But we said – look how amazing it turned out.

Doing hard things brings blessings! You have a mommy and daddy who love you and siblings. Seeing the strength and resilience in these boys, who do scary things, and respond with bravery is SUCH A GIFT!!! Watching God weave our stories together and bring us all back together – there just really aren’t words. It was a very sweet reunion!!

And I could talk for days about how nice it was to be with Alyson!! This beautiful friendship that God put in my path!! So so grateful for her and Jeremy. They are amazing examples of faith-filled people and amazing parents. And being able to talk with her about parenting these kids from hard places, was just so good for my mama heart. Because we have to parent in a different way – little things that you can somehow brush off are actually HUGE things to these boys. Earning trust and continuously building attachment. It is a hard kind of parenting, and no one in my everyday life in Utah understands. Love her so much!!”